schmelle's blog

I broke the mastodon instance set up to annoy my employer. It's good I don't care about hosting services consistently.

I have too many servers and too many bad ideas. Sometime this will backfire in a major way. Technically it already has backfired, but that is in the past and also was really stupid, and all services I currently run are not that stupid and illegal.

I am the admin of – this blog – a misskey instance – a firefish instance – a mastodon instance set up expressly to annoy my employer – another mastodon instance (broken right now)

My WordPress blog also has the fediverse integration plugin installed but it doesn't work so good.

Most of these will probably be abandoned within a week and crash and burn in a year.

Oh well.

1. Tetris Effect: Connected (generally, and especially for the Classic Score Attack mode)
2. Tricky Tower (Tetris but with physics, I only play the Puzzle Challenge mode)
3. Puyo Puyo Tetris (Tetris with anime voice actors)
4. Tetris 99
5. Dandy Dungeon -Legend of Brave Yamada- (Hikikomori Media on the brilliance of Onion Games)
6. Crunchyroll*
7. Koloro (delightful little puzzle game)
8. Nekopara Volume 1-4 (it's cat girls galore!)
9. What comes after (cute and not at all depressing)

*Games that are not games are not to be excluded

Really I only play Tetris Effect: Connected Classic Score Attack and Tricky Tower, it's all that keeps my mind going while listening to niche Australian comedy current events podcasts.

I am a simple man (he/him, cis). I see an ostensibly young woman on the fediverse (federated universe, decentralized social media) with a cute anime avatar and Japanese name, and I immediately wanna smash.

Now. I am very aware of my own limitations and the zero possible realities in which this scenario ever happens. But a man can dream! And read another raunchy manga on fakku (CW 18+)!

If I can't fuck that German-Japanese hafu, who can I fuck?

Prostitution is legal in Germany. There's a brothel down the street from where I work. I don't know their prizes, I've never been there. I also don't really wanna go there. Or to any brothel. Feels weird.

Unfortunately I lack the financial ressources to just order an escort to my home or a hotel.

This is hopeless. We will never fuck.

Yes.

CW for furious descriptions of male masturbation (tame)

Masturbation?

This is the most likely outcome. My masturbatory practices are twofold. I first jump on my dakimakura (currently dressed in Kirino Kosaka from Oreimo) and vigorously hump her for two minutes. Once I'm close to cumming, I get up and run to the bathroom where I jerk with some toilet paper and ejaculate.

This is my process.